The woman who lost her virginity to a former private school boy in a dirty alleyway outside his father’s nightclub has finally spoken out about her torment after his rape conviction was overturned.
Saxon Mullins, from NSW’s Central Coast, was 18 years old when she had anal sex behind a bustling nightclub in Sydney’s Kings Cross about 4am on May 12, 2013.
One year after a judge found Luke Lazarus not guilty of rape, Saxon Mullins has waived her right to anonymity and lifted the veil on her daily torment following the encounter in an exclusive interview with ABC’s Four Corners.
‘There’s something I need to get off my chest. I’ve spent far too long feeling embarrassed and ashamed. The 18-year-old in the story is me,’ she said.
‘Those awful things happened to me. I am that girl.’
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Saxon Mullins, a teenager from the New South Wales’ Central Coast, was 18-years-old when she lost her virginity in an alleyway behind a nightclub in Sydney’s Kings Cross about 4am on May 12, 2013
One year after a judge found Luke Lazarus (pictured) not-guilty of rape, Saxon Mullins has waived her right to anonymity
A jury found Mr Lazarus guilty of rape in March 2015, and sentenced him to three years’ jail.
The Court of Criminal Appeal quashed the guilty conviction in April last year, and ordered a re-trial, which was heard by Judge Tupman without a jury.
In May 2017, Judge Tupman overturned the conviction and found Luke Lazarus not guilty because Ms Mullins ‘did not say stop or no’.
There was never any dispute the pair had sex, consent was the only issue.
There is no suggestion Mr Lazarus is guilty of the charge.
After Mr Lazarus was found not guilty, Ms Mullins, now 23, took to social media to reveal how her life had changed since the night she had anal sex, down on all fours, behind club Soho.
‘I am mad and frustrated and heartbroken. Was it all for nothing? I’ve waited four long years. I’ve stressed and worried and stayed up all night – many many nights – thinking about it,’ she said.
Ms Mullins, now 23, has taken to social media to reveal how her life had changed since the night she had anal sex, down on all fours, behind club Soho
‘I am mad and frustrated and heartbroken. Was it all for nothing? I’ve waited four long years. I’ve stressed and worried and stayed up all night – many many nights – thinking about it,’ Ms Mullins said (CCTV footage shows the pair on the night in question)
CCTV footage shows Mr Lazarus with Ms Mullins at the Soho club on the night the pair had sex in 2013
Ms Mullins is pictured with her friend, eating at a restaurant in the hours before she met Mr Lazarus at the Soho club in 2013
Ms Mullins said she felt ‘let down and confused’ after a judge overturned Mr Lazarus’ rape conviction.
‘I lost something that night all those years ago and I’ve been searching for it ever since,’ she said.
‘The reality is this doesn’t get to be over for me. I don’t get to know who I would be today had this not happened to me, and I mourn for that person. She seemed like she was on her way to being great.
Ms Mullins went on to say she did not ‘wish harm or upset on anyone’.
‘I don’t want anyone to suffer, that would never bring me joy. All I’ve wanted since that night was to hear the words “I was wrong” and “I’m sorry”. An apology for what was done to me is all I was ever after,’ she said.
A jury found Mr Lazarus guilty of rape in March 2015, and sentenced him to three years’ jail – but that decision was overturned by a judge
In May 2017, Judge Tupman overturned the conviction and found Luke Lazarus (pictured) not guilty because Ms Mullins ‘did not say stop or no’
The NSW woman said she hoped writing her thoughts down would ‘help with the long process of moving on’.
Ms Mullins said she wouldn’t allow the encounter to dampen her generally positive outlook on life.
‘At times like this when I’m feeling sh***y and down, and so so so tired, I remember that for every dickhead human, there are a million more filled with love, light and kindness,’ she said.
‘And that lifts my heavy heart.’
Speaking to ABC’s Four Corners this week, Ms Mullins said she always dreamed her ‘first time’ would be special.
‘I had this grandiose, romantic [notion]: ‘It’ll be by candlelight on a bed of roses’, with someone who loves me,’ she said.
Recalling the traumatic event, Ms Mullins said: ‘My heart was going at a million miles an hour, I don’t even think I was breathing for a majority of the time’.
‘I don’t even know how to describe it.’
The story is due to air on ABC’s Four Corners program at 8.30pm on Monday.
Less than 24 hours after being acquitted of rape, Luke Lazarus was seen recovering from a party at his Vaucluse home
Luke Lazarus leaves the Downing Centre District Court in Sydney, Thursday, May 4, 2017 – when he was found not guilty of the rape of a teenager in a Kings Cross alley way